Overflow.

Most nights it takes me awhile to fall asleep. No matter how heavy my lids, or exhausted my limbs, it seems that the act of actually crawling into bed and curling into my favorite sleep-time position renders a frustratingly acute form of insomnia. The only thing that even remotely induces me to sleep is when I snuggle up to the one I love most... but this becomes problematic because sometimes he twitches a bit when he is falling asleep. And I am the lightest sleeper in the history of mankind. (It's definitely soothing while it lasts, though.)

I think my main problem is rooted in the fact that I tend to think too much... I analyze the events of the day, I tend to stress about upcoming events at work... even when I try to relax, it seems my brain has a mind of its own (pardon the pun). There are certain little things that have been nagging at me for awhile, that apparently I have not gotten off of my chest, and so they have become larger and more significant than I think is necessary.

First off, I am bothered by the constant mimicking I see in the blogosphere. There have been instances of blatant plagiarism (which I think is incredibly low brow and disappointing) on some of the more prominent blogs I read, even when their content in copyright protected. But perhaps even more disconcerting in some cases is the creative plagiarism that I have been seeing, and that has even happened to me personally. While its true that I don't believe that all ideas are completely original, it bothers me when I see someone who takes an idea from someone else and passes it off as their own. Case in point, I think it would have been disingenuous of me to say that my "Three Truths and One Lie" series was something I came up with myself. Instead, I gave credit to the blog that inspired the idea. Sure, the idea in of itself is wholly unoriginal, but it was the reading of her posts that sparked my interest in doing something similar on my bloggity. Thus, she received credit for being my inspiration. Unfortunately, it seems that I have never been returned this favor. And it irks me when I know that some of my ideas and even some of my phrases have been extracted and-- pardon the expression-- bastardized on someone else's blog. This is one of the downsides of such a forum. And I guess, to a certain extent, it must be tolerated. But come on, people!

Another thing I have been grappling with lately is that fact that the older I get, the more and more cognizant I am of the fact that most grown ups are not grown up at all. I am often in contact with individuals much older than myself, and I surprised at the pettiness and childishness that prevails in some of the interactions I have had. I also have observed similar occurrences in the lives of people I am close to, which is also disheartening. I thought I graduated high school awhile ago... but it seems like it is alive and well in the world of adults. Oft times I can just brush it off, or even laugh about the ridiculousness of it all, but lately it's been gnawing away at my nerves. It's maddening, really.

I also feel like my ability to write and write fairly well has significantly diminished. This is frustrating to me because I feel that this is the one skill that I have that I have tried to keep sharp... while other abilities I have had have fallen by the wayside. It's hard to have so many thoughts and ideas swirling around in my brain without a proper conduit to elucidate them all. I feel that there are always fragments of good ideas on the tip of my tongue that are quashed by other, more imposing forces.

But the writing of these irritants has been cathartic. I feel a little bit lighter now that I have written them down, albeit a bit simplistically. And if anyone is still reading this, I apologize for the ranting nature of this post. Though I think many of you can empathize in one regard or another.