writer's block

lately i feel like my posts aren't that great.
that i am just writing to write sometimes, without putting the care and attention into my posts that i normally would if i had more time.
but i really want to keep this going, to maintain the pace i have set.

i just don't know what to write about.

i am having a serious case of writer's block... and i'm not exactly sure how to get out of it.

{it's a mystery wrapped in a conundrum deep fried in a quandary, really.}

So maybe I had a bit of a meltdown....

it's inexplicable really. I really don't understand why I put so much pressure on myself-- why I allow myself to become so frustrated sometimes. (And remember, lately said frustration is accompanied by tears... which frustrates me even more... thus more tears.)

There was this one time in high school that I got so stressed out about something, I literally threw up. (And, for the record, I have a highly irrational fear of throwing up. So it made it all the more traumatic.)

It only happened that one time, but I'm thinking that the reason why my stomach feels so queasy today is a product of the same kind of thing. Oh how our minds do interesting things sometimes.

Perhaps my Luna bar today contained some extra estrogen or something. Because the waterworks have been going full force since this morning, which is frustrating me to no end.

This reaction makes me feel ungrateful and incapable. I know it will pass... but in the mean time... will I be able to hold it together? I certainly hope so.

So glad my temporary office is enclosed.

I know you can be overwhelmed and you can be underwhelmed...

I think that today I fall into the former category. It's probably due to the fact that I'm a perfectionist and that I think I should be able to learn everything I'm supposed to learn on the first day.

I'm tired, but grateful for this chance I've been given. I hope that the aforementioned feeling subsides and that I can rediscover my confidence in myself.

I just have to remember that it's a process. (And not to cry when I get frustrated... I'm really hating this new propensity I've recently developed, believe you me.)

today,

i'm feeling a bit like this.

and i'm seriously still trying to figure out why i was wide awake at 6:00 am this morning. seriously. i read a book.