Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Tale of Two Brothers, Part One

I think I have mentioned before that in high school I did not date a lot. I did not kiss many boys, and I believe that I was altogether oblivious (my little sister affectionately referred to it as "the social skills of an eleven year old") to boys who liked me, or maybe just the ones who wanted to kiss me. (For as you know, in high school, these categories don't always jibe.)

At any rate, I will begin this story in the spring of 2002, not even a week after I had gotten my wisdom teeth (all of which were impacted, might I add) pulled. Since my mother had hidden my Loritab after I had taken exactly one pill, I believe I just may have been hopped up on 200 mg pills of Ibuprofen and had barely began attempting to eat solid foods again. "Attempting" being the operative word here. Why I am providing this little aside will become known shortly. Oh yeah, and the names have been changed in this story to protect the not-so-innocent.

It was a Friday night, and my parents were away for the weekend in New York with my little sister; thus, I was in charge of watching my little brothers until their return. I had a few friends over, which consisted of girls my own age and the remnants of our older guy friends who hadn't yet left on missions for our church. Since I was still feeling a bit woozy and tired from all that wisdom tooth extracting, we ended the night early... probably around 10:00-10:15.

So I was surprised when, about ten minutes later, there was a knock on my door. It was "Dave," one of the guys in our little group of friends that I didn't know super well, but well enough to let him inside for a drink because he was panting like a dog.

Me: (thoroughly taken aback) "Hey Dave, how's it going?"

Dave: (panting profusely) "I'm good."

Me: "Sorry, everyone's already taken off tonight." Dave looks a bit dejected, yet inexplicably smug. "May I ask why you're breathing so hard?"

Dave: "Oh, I rode my bike up here. That's why it took so long for me to get here." {His house is forever away and completely downhill from where I lived. And I thought it was odd he hadn't caught a ride from our other friend who lives down the street from him.}

Me: "Well sorry you missed the party {I'm a tad concerned because he looks like he's about to pass out}... do you want a glass of water or something before you head back home?"

Dave: "Sure. That'd be great."

He comes in and sits on a chair opposite from where I had been sitting/reading/watching TV, and I get up to get him a glass of water. After I bring it to him, he gulps it down and takes the cup back to the kitchen... and comes back and practically sits on my lap. It is at this point where the "uh-oh alarm" begins to sound in my head.

Dave: (who is now definitely in my personal bubble, much to my dismay) "So there's a reason I'm here so late. I actually wanted to get here after everybody left."

Me: (gulping whilst trying to politely inch away from him) "Oh really. And why would that be?" {Remember, social skills of an eleven year old. My much older and wiser self most likely would have never let him in the door in the first place.}

Dave: "Well I just really wanted to see if I could, you know, like kiss you."

Me: (completely at a loss of what to say/do/think coupled with being entirely creeped out) "Um, well I just got my wisdom teeth out... and I still have the stitches in my mouth... and aren't you leaving on your mission in a week... so yeah, um, and I'm pretty tired... you know... and maybe you should take off." {This was my polite way of saying "HELL no." Just fyi.}

Dave leaves, and though I am relieved at my aversion of what would have inevitably been a gross-out situation, I couldn't help being a bit angered by his audacity. I mean, he was leaving in a week for a two-year, absolutely no contact with girls, mission and was trying to get some while he still could. I thought it was pretty insulting. So did my girl friends once they heard about the story.

Luckily, I did not see him again before he left. And I tried to put the awkward and unsavory experience out of my head.

But little did I know that I would soon be reminded of this occurrence in a most unexpected way.

To be continued...


Kenna said...

I bet you had stinky breath too.


lauren said...

i had probably the stinkiest breath in the history of mankind. he must have been really desperate. te hee.

Jami said...

I am litterally shaking with laughter right now. I could see that play by play - nice descriptions! hahaha!

Jami said...

That is a great story - I am litterally shaking with the giggles. Way to describe everything so well. I could feel the tension from here. hahaha!

Eliza said...

"To be continued"... ah the suspense is killing me :-D

Shannon said...

I can just imagine where this is going. It's going to get even better that this; I can tell by the cliff hanger. And I'm so glad you turned him down. That is definitely not eleven year old social skills, that is assertive woman social skills. Good for you.

Oh, and the book...I'll email that.