Thursday, April 9, 2009

The Tale of Two Brothers, Part Two

{Missed part one? Read it here.}

May 2002

Two months had passed, and the feelings of ickiness and annoyance that were a product of the aforementioned occurrence finally began to subside. In the mean time, one of my friends decided to befriend Dave's little brother, "Glen," who happened to be a year younger than us.

I was fine with it, because Glen seemed nice and sweetly shy, and I was not going to begrudge him for something his older brother had done. It is important to note, too, that during this time I was not as involved with my typical group of friends, for various reasons too convoluted to discuss here, though I will say that I was studying a lot more and focusing on college applications and whatnot. Among other things. Thus, I knew Glen even less that I had known his older brother. (This is important to know because of what happened next.)

My 18th birthday fell on a Sunday that year, and my whole extended family was over at the house for a birthday dinner. The house phone rang, and it was for me. (Which was odd, since most of my friends called my cell.)

I was even more surprised to discover that Glen was on the other line. He wished me a happy birthday, and said that he had something for me and wondered if he could stop by for a minute and give it to me. In my mind I thought that perhaps Dave felt bad about "the incident" and wanted to send his brother over as a gesture of kindness. Or something like that.

I couldn't think of another explanation.

I hesitated, just because I had all of my family over, but he seemed so insistent, that I said he could drop by for just a quick minute. Soon after, the doorbell rang, and there was Glen, standing there with a plate of brownies.

Glen: "Happy Birthday, Lauren. I made these brownies for you."

Me: (surprised, but flattered) "Well thanks Glen, that was really nice of you to do."

Glen: "I just wanted to do something for your birthday." (His expression turns slightly mischievous... where had I seen that expression before?) "Actually, I have another present for you, but it's down at my car. Will you walk down the driveway to come and get it?"

{My "uh oh" alarm decided to malfunction I think, because in that moment, it FAILED me. Miserably.}

We walked down my hill of a driveway to his car. I looked inside it expectantly, not knowing what exactly Glen had in store for me. I should have just stayed inside my house. There's a long pause, and then Glen begins to stammer...

Glen: "So... 18... that's a big one. Do you feel old?"

Me: (at this point super confused) "Um, not really. Pretty much the same as I felt at seventeen."

Glen: "And you're graduating and stuff in a few days... that's pretty cool."

Me: (wanting to get on with it and go back inside) "Um yeah. Sure. Glen--"

Glen: (interrupting me) "So I bet you're wondering what you're present is."

{Um no, I just left my family party and am standing out here with a person I barely know just for kicks and giggles.}

Glen: "Well, I was just wondering if I could give you a birthday kiss."

{Holy heck are you kidding me? He must be joking. Except this really isn't funny. Like not even the littlest bit... NOT AGAIN.}

Me: (equal parts flabbergasted and annoyed and completely unsure of what to do) "Well um, gee, I guess you could give me a nice kiss on the cheek. I think that would be a great present." {And yeah, that's all I could come up with. You try being put on the spot like that.}

Glen: (looking dejected... whispers) "It wouldn't be the same."


Me: "Um well... I think I should probably head back up to my family party. Er... thanks for the brownies. They look delicious." {Never ate one, btw.}

Glen stays silent... then, as I am turning to leave...

Glen: "Now me and my brother have something in common... we've both been rejected by you."

I decided not to answer him. I think all I could muster was a polite head nod. Because at this point the awkwardness that had just transpired was beginning to hit me. I headed up the driveway and didn't look back.

In the days that followed, there was a rumor that Dave had put his brother up to it, that there was a bet of some sort. Which really irked me. I mean, I'm not a piece of meat, people! I politely tried to avoid Glen during the last week of school, mainly because my feelings were hurt at the idea that people would make me the source of such a cruel joke. You know, it's high school, people can be kind of ruthless.

At any rate, I felt it best not to deny him on yearbook signing day, when he meekly approached me and asked if he could sign my yearbook.

I believe in his yearbook all I could muster was "Have a great summer. -Lauren" without my typical heart and a slash, because I wouldn't want him to get the wrong idea. I actually shut my yearbook after he signed it, not wanting to read what he wrote right away. I did offer him as genuine of a smile as I could muster, because I was trying to just be nice and move on. Despite the awkwardness that permeated my being. {Because I was really quite sensitive to awkwardness back then, just fyi.}

Later that day, I came across his message, and was dismayed to read:

"There wasn't a bet. I just plain wanted to kiss you."

And that, my friends, is The Tale of Two Brothers.


Liv said...


I mean, I figured where the story was going, but still couldn't believe it. Who does that? Who asks to just kiss someone?

Cliff, Kendal and Stone said...

haha, WOW!Have you seen these brothers since? Great story.

lauren said...

when i moved back up here, i happened to be in the same singles ward as "glen" but it was a huge ward, so i rarely saw him. and honestly i don't think i've seen "dave" since the incident. maybe in passing. shrug.

Caitlin said...

Hahaha--you have the best stories, Lauren. And you handled it better than I probably would have! Hahahaha

torileigh said...

Wow. That's all I have to say.

Kenna said...

You are quite the story teller, and quite the heart breaker.

I would call you a jerk for breaking their hearts, but I like you so much...

Jimmy and Lindsey said...

hahah That is a great story!

Courtnie said...

Haha! That is awesome! You are the greatest Lauren! :)

Ashley said...

That is actually a really cute story. Oh high school. I would have just kissed him. I am glad that you have overcome much of your propensity towards awkwardness--because that would be awkward.

Kimba said...

Ridiculous! I'm curious as to who these brothers are - I had a run in with two brothers in high school with similar...ickiness.

I'm of the mind that you shouldn't need to ASK someone for a kiss. It should just come, all natural-like.

That said, my first kiss came as a shock to me - I was totally surprised to find his tongue in my mouth, and I had to catch up, QUICK. Sweet 16 to french kissing in one second flat.


Chelsey said...

Lauren, I LOVE YOU! I couldn't stop smiling reading that post. I have so many great memories of you. OF COURSE he wanted to kiss you...who wouldn't? I guess he figured he had a good excuse because of your birthday. I can't wait for Andrew to read this post. I don't think he understands when I say that you really have the BEST stories. Thanks for sharing!

Jami said...