Tuesday, August 26, 2008

sudden grief

there are moments that come in this life that are inexplicable and heart breaking, sorrowful and confusing. they are the moments that in our heart of hearts we hope don't happen, the kind we dread in the back recesses of our minds. and yet, they do happen sometimes, and it is then our job to have the faith and understanding to know that there is a greater plan, something that escapes our finite minds, and that everything will work out.

last night i experienced such a moment. i found out that a dear family friend, also my former ecclesiastical leader and my current boss, had a heart attack and died. i had talked to him mere hours before and he appeared to be as vibrant and as healthy as he ever was.

needless to say, work today has been tough. and i, the one who fields all the calls and who is in the front of the office, am having a rough time keeping it together. the mood is somber here, and everyone is wondering what happens next, how we will go on without him.

i mourn for his dear family. i mourn because, though i believe in eternal life and eternal families, it is difficult to keep an eternal perspective when tragedies strike us. it is difficult to have the faith of knowing the God does indeed have a plan for us, and is mindful of us. the only solace i find in this situation is that i KNOW that, beyond any worldly doubt that may enter my head. i know that he lives on, that he will be reunited with his family, that God is mindful of everyone and everything.

but i still feel the sadness of loss and of worry for his family.

i think, with fondness, of the personal counsel i received and of the experiences i shared with this friend and teacher of mine. one such instance sticks out in my mind because i was contemplating making an imprudent dating decision, and this person dissuaded me. he looked me straight in the eyes and said, "i think this would be a bad decision." and indeed, it would have been. i am truly grateful that he cared enough about me as a person to offer such counsel.

i am grateful that i was able to know this person personally and professionally and that i was able to be positively influenced and taught by him.

he will be greatly missed.

9 comments:

Allison & Noah Riley said...

Thank you.

corrine said...

lauren, my mom called and told me about this this morning also. i am so sad for them. i taught their kids piano for a while and my sister is good friends with sarah. all we can do is try to show our love and support and say lots of prayers.

Eliza said...

Lauren, you and his family will definitely be in my prayers!

Cliff, Kendal and Stone said...

I was in shock when I found out late last night, it was this morning after our conversation on the phone that it really hit me, and I found myself with Kleenex. He truly was a great man, and though I was not nearly as close to him as you, my heart aches for his family today. he will truly be missed.

Jessica said...

Thank you Lauren. Well said. Good luck in the days to come dealing with the things you will have to at work. The Brown's are surely in my prayers.

Neal said...

Heart-breaking doesn't seem to describe the effect this moment has. I thank Father for the knowledge He has given us of the Atonement and His plan.

I know Bro Brown meant a lot to you, and this loss saddens us all. I had a few wonderful experiences of my own with the man and I thank God for those moments.

I love you kid. Tell your parents we love them, and Biz too.

Shannon & Ryan said...

I am so sorry for your loss, Lauren. May comfort be your companion, as well as your friend's family.

thefarrfamily said...

Lauren I am sorry about your news, those things can be very hard at times but I am glad to hear that you do realize that this is the eternal progression that we face in this time here on earth. I think that no matter how expected or not, it is a sad thing to our hearts. Our prayers are with you and also his family.

Jen said...

I am so sorry Lauren. Sending hugs and prayers your way!