The time I went to that vampire movie all by myself

Just waiting for the movie to begin

I had this epiphany one day. I thought, you know what would be totally (as my mom would say) bitchin'? Going to The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 all.by.myself. Firstly, because I didn't want to have to drag my poor husband to the movie, and secondly, because I didn't want to wait for the rest of my typical Twilight  viewing group (i.e. mom, aunt, sister and future SIL) due to an irrational fear of all types of spoilers. And it was kind of totally perfect that on opening night there was literally ONE seat on in the very middle-est part of the theater that happened to still be available. I was experiencing Edward and Bella-type fate here, and who was I to mess with that? 

So off to the theater I went, during the height of date night movie time, wondering who I'd have the pleasure of sitting next to. On my right were the, "Our moms dropped us off at the theater... well actually our moms are sitting a few rows back after pretending to drop us off at the theater" group, and to the left the, "We're going to cheer when the new Hunger Games preview comes on, when we see Jacob's abs, when we see Bella et. al. crack a smile... and we're all over 30" group. Harmless enough, I wagered. Though cheering in a movie really works its way into my last nerve. Most of the time. Especially when a certain breed of cougars are involved. (But that's a separate post for another day.)

All was warm and fuzzy until the faint whining of a newborn began to reverberate in the hallowed pantheon of vampirism. That's when things got a little cray cray. Choruses of, "Oh my [insert your favorite expletive here], take that baby out already!" began peppering the theater, which was followed by the, "Why don't you come up here and tell me that to my face!" retort, all of which served to startle the baby further and caused it to begin wailing. Which made my tender mother heart all sorts of sad. I wanted to take that baby home and put it to bed. Because that's where it should have been in the first place. In my opinion. Though I couldn't dwell on that thought too much, because the "ladies" to my left were among the hecklers. And I did not want to get in the middle of a girl fight. Thankfully, it didn't come to that.

The movie itself was entertaining. Decapitations! Bad wigs! Vampire Bella! Sparklegasms! And overall (in spite of all the cheering) I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

The end.