Tuesday, July 8, 2008

How I almost got thrown out of a BYU intramural softball game

Going to college at BYU was interesting for many reasons. I had some of my best times down there and some of my worst times. I really enjoyed the education I received while there. (Save stupid Kearl's class.) I thrived on wearing my U of U gear in the BYU student section and getting yelled at by people whose ring tones ended up being such classics as "Follow the Prophet" and "Called to Serve." (Seriously. So sad.) But I'm not going to discuss either of these things, nay, I am going to talk about the glorious awfulness that is BYU intramural softball.

Growing up, I breathed baseball and softball. Since I was a chick, I got fielded into the wonderful world of Bountiful Bonnet Ball (yes, they really call it that) and went through the years playing up on a team that pretty much became the entire Bountiful High softball team. At any rate, softball is the one sport that I thoroughly enjoy and understand, and though I'd probably suck now (because the last time I played was about three years ago), I was pretty decent back in the day.

Anyway, in the spring/summer of '05 I played intramural softball with some friends. The first session was only girls, and we pretty much killed everybody in our division. For the second session, we played co-ed, but the rules were unlike any other co-ed rules I have ever encountered. The gist is this: every inning, every single person in the line-up would get to bat. Regardless of outs or anything else. (Ah CUTE, everybody gets a turn to bat... like in tee ball.) So if your team was playing down a few people it would clearly be at a disadvantage.

On one such game, we were actually doing quite well for awhile, but the eleven people on the opposing team began to wear down our paltry seven. We were on the field and the ball was hit to deep right center, right to the most annoying guy on our team. (You know the type... the guy who thinks he's great at every sport and who blames his errors on other people.) So of course he mishandles the play and the other team's runners are rounding the bases. I'm his cut-off, so I yell, "Just throw the damn ball!" in utter frustration. Unfortunately, one of the umpires happened to be right next to me (they come out of nowhere I swear), and smugly remarked, "What did you say?"

I gulped, remembering that I could be banned from intramural softball for such a horrendous offense, and meekly offered, "Throw the dang ball?"

"That's what I thought. That's your warning."

I bit my tongue the rest of the game.

So that's how I almost got thrown out of a game. For saying a word that is found copious times in the standard works. Gotta heart the good ol' B-Y.


EMILY said...

Those rules are the same everywhere in co-ed city ball... I hate them. I played in a league once where there was a girls ball and a guys ball. The difference, you ask? The girls ball was smaller. The size you played with when you were 8. It sucked. Oh well.

Do you want to play on a team next year in Bountiful with me? We are always looking for more girls?

Shannon said...

Ha. Love it. I, too, am a softball/baseball lover. Played all growing up until we moved to a town that didn't have a program for girls. Lame-o. If I was smart, I would have started one myself. Oh well. Oh my gosh, though, I was watching the USA softball team play the other day-they were awesome. I could seriously watch and play it all the time. Oh, and I love the slow pitch co-ed games. It is the unwritten rule that if you walk when at bat, your name will be shamed forever more. Man, I miss it. Thanks for the awesome story, it brought back oh so many memories.