A brief note

Dear elliptical,

I officially do not like you. You are an evil, EVIL machine that I am convinced is designed to make one's legs feel like jello. I resent the fact that I now need to use you (due to the bc and my sedentary job) and I miss the days of my lightning-fast metabolism and nightly bowls of ice cream. And just so you know, next time I will bring some water and will not chew gum. Not like you care anyway.

Insincerely,

LLS

P.S. Oh yeah, and if creepy treadmill guy is there next time, all
bets are off. So there.