Directions

The following conversation actually took place. This was a call I took earlier today.

Random Lady: "Hello, I'm trying to get to a meeting at your building but I'm lost. My GPS isn't working."

Me: "Well ma'am, where are you located?"

RL: "I'm driving on West Temple heading towards the Capitol... I'm close to 200 South."

Me: "Well ma'am I'm sorry, but you've actually overshot us just a little bit; we're a little farther south and west."

RL: "I'm new here, I don't know directions."

Me: "You're currently headed north, toward the Capitol, and you need to be heading south, and then a little bit west. You need to actually drive down to 200 West because you can't make a left hand turn on 400 South because there's a median, and we're on the south side of the street."

RL: "I don't know where south is and west is! [Um really? Did I not just tell you you were heading north? And can't you then derive where south is? Where west and east is?] I don't know my way around here! I turned down 200 South."

Me: (Assuming she was now heading west) "Ok ma'am, what you're going to want to do is to drive down 200 South until you hit 200 West. Take a left on 200 West and then another left on 400 South."

RL: "I just passed 200 East, is that where you mean?"

Me: "No, I'm sorry, you're actually heading east toward the University of Utah and the mountains, you need to be going west instead and drive all the way to 200 West.

RL: "This doesn't make any sense! Where's west?"

Me: "Well ma'am, you're currently heading east. State Street is the dividing street between east and west, so you'll have to turn around on 200 South and drive through State Street and keep going until you get to 200 West. Then you'll turn left onto 200 West. When you turn left on 200 West, you'll drive through 300 South and then you'll need to again turn left on 400 South. You'll see our sign and can park in front of the building."

RL: "So I turn left on 200 West and then another left on 400 South? So two lefts?"

Me: "Correct."

RL: "What side on the street are you on?" (She must have forgotten me telling her that earlier.)

Me: "We're on the right side/south side of the street. Right next to the Sheraton Hotel and across the street from the Courtyard Marriott"

RL: "Ok. I should be there shortly."

Approximately 45 seconds later the phone rings again

RL: "Hello? So I turn left on 400 South?"

Me: (My patience rapidly waning) "Yes ma'am."

RL: "I see the Sheraton, but I don't see your building. Isn't it supposed to be across the street from the Sheraton?" (Are you kidding me?)

Me: "No ma'am, it is right next to the Sheraton and across the street from the Marriott. And we have a big sign."

RL: "Oh I see it. Thank g-- I finally found it!"

Me: "Glad to be of help." (My response to her non-thank you.)

Random Lady walks into the building.

RL: "Oh my gosh, this town is so confusing! I'm from New York and we use the grid system, where every street has a name. I don't get all of this north/south stuff."

Um REALLY?

And I'm the one around here who people assume is stupid. I must be taking crazy pills.