Monday, October 25, 2010

Um, so ok... I realize this is bordering on the ridiculous.

I have become a sporadic blogger. There are worse things to become, to be sure, but it's still an insult to my former 5-post-per-week self. Because one day I think it would be meaningful (to me) to have said posts compiled into a volume or two. To be put on the shelf with all of my high school and college journals (there are seven or so). To know what I was thinking when, to remember the context in which I was thinking it. To date, I have four incomplete posts sitting in my inbox. Just germs of ideas, but there nonetheless. Waiting to be deleted or finished. It changes from day to day.

In my case, the more I've needed to write for work, the less I feel inclined to write here. Not because I have less to say, but because I feel a bit drained. I see my words on the screen and feel they are too self-serving, insignificant to throw out into the void of the interwebs. I wonder why I feel the need to have an electronic log of my random thoughts or events in my life. I wonder whose eyes are reading what I write. I love reading some blogs, mind you, and think that they can be a very useful tool, but there are times when I wonder why we're all so apt to elucidate these moments of our lives for everyone to see. Have we all become exhibitionists? Maybe. But I think sometimes it's just easier to write it down than to speak it. By in large, we've become a generation more comfortable with sharing our feelings with strangers than talking with people face to face. It's just interesting to think about is all.

These past few months there have been a lot of things I've wanted to blog about. Everything from politics to puke (not mine, thankfully) and beyond. Perhaps I can pick up the strands of my thoughts and begin again. If I feel the same joy and satisfaction as I once did, that is. Until then...

1 comment:

Lilismom said...

Well, I miss reading your words! But totally understand as I have not posted for a year and keep thinking I will...anyway, miss you and love you, blogger or not! :)