Wednesday, February 4, 2009

It's already been quite the day

I got here at 5:50 this morning. Volunteered myself to help assemble some last minute booklets for a pitch we have today. And what's weird is that I actually like coming in early, because I am not constantly bombarded by phone calls. I can move about the building freely and complete tasks without being distracted. It's almost worth the extra two hours and ten minutes I'm putting in today. Almost.

I had a bit of a meltdown two days ago. One that left me crying in the bathroom at lunch for a good 30 minutes. I think I tend to bottle up a lot of emotions and sometimes they come spilling out all at once. Besides, staff meeting Monday is my least favorite day of the month anyway, so that probably didn't help me at all. I hate it when I experience such moments because I feel like I'm not entitled to feel that way, that things are going so well and that I am so greatly blessed, that I must be ungrateful or something. So I beat myself up when I have a bad day. Which typically makes it worse.

However, I think this last experience provided me with an epiphany of sorts: no matter who you are, you will have bad days. No matter how well things are going in your life, or how happy you are, you still will have bad days. There will be times of happiness and sadness in all of our lives, but regardless of what time period we go through, we will still have bad days. I think a lot of it has to do with Satan. It seems like he really thrives on making people miserable, making them feel inadequate. To be honest, it's super annoying.

I'm just grateful that I have a loving husband and family that strengthen and support me. I'm grateful that I have a knowledge of God's plan for us all and that this plan is a plan of happiness. I feel so blessed to have this understanding, and it truly mitigates any sadness that comes upon me. And in a way I am grateful for the bad days, because they help me to appreciate my good days all the more.


Anonymous said...

I don't know you and I'm not even sure how I came across your blog, but I like you. (And not in a creepy kind of way!) I like your views of the world and your attitude! Keep it up and thanks for letting me stalk your blog!

Whitney said...

i really enjoyed this blog a lot. i guess i never thought too much about it being satan who has a hand in our bad days but i completely agree! i wish i was there for you to listen and give you a hug when you were crying in the bathroom! i miss you! and love ya!

Allison and Noah Riley said...

So interesting you should post this today. I have been having such similar thoughts all day. Yesterday was a bit discouraging - and not necessarily because of a major event or specific incident - just a little... off. But it has made today so much better because I appreciate how today has felt.

Here's to good days... and for the perspective to appreciate one when we see it :). Thanks for your reminder.

Shannon said...

I am jealous of your early morning start. There is something quiet and clear about 5 a.m.

And I'm so glad you let yourself feel two days ago. It's the best thing: a good cry. Even if it's in the bathroom stall at work (um, been there). When we let ourselves feel real and raw emotion, we let it pass. Which is ALSO a very good thing. Three cheers for bathroom breakdowns. And three cheers for family. And three cheers for your blog.

Abby said...

Sorry, dude.

I, too, have found myself having a bit of a weep in the employee bathroom.

Things always get better though.

Kenna said...

I agree with Shannon.

Letting those emotions run their course is the best thing anyone can do for themselves.

Um, maybe I should listen to my own advice before I keep talking.

Just listen to what everyone else has said.

Liv said...

It's kind of nice when the cry is over and you can evaluate the situation all over again.

I usually just spend ten minutes trying to get the swelling down and the redness away before returning to my desk... but whatever. It's all good.

Clayton and Amber said...

I loved this post Lauren. Seriously, if someone thinks they've never had a bad day, they've obviously overlooked something! You've always been one of my favorites. I told C about your yummy peanut butter/chocolate treat from Baskin's hoping!

lauren said...

thanks everyone! i heart you all. :D