Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Oh I'm sorry, did I get in your way/Listerine, really?

Yesterday was one of those glorious days where I got a few great laughs out of other people's actions. I don't mean this in a disrespectful way; rather in a "did they really just do that" way. And sometimes, it is better to laugh about things than to get angry about things. I've made a personal goal to laugh more and seethe less, and I think I did an ok job with this goal yesterday.

First up, is the "pusher." My friend and I decided to go out to lunch to celebrate the holiday season, and get out of the office for an hour. We're at a certain restaurant, patiently waiting to be sat, when all of the sudden, this lady full on runs into me. Not just an inadvertent graze, but a full-on, knock my purse off of my shoulder/significant body contact run-in. And she said NOTHING. Not even an "excuse me" or an "I'm so sorry" or anything. I was baffled. Apparently she knew the couple that was in front of us (who were paying for take out) and as she's chatting away, she successfully butts us, and buys some gift cards. SERIOUSLY. Then she takes FOREVER to pay for them. To my amazement, however, it didn't really make me mad. It just made me laugh. Really hard actually. Luckily, rude people who run into people and then butt them don't usually pay attention to such things. If they did, they most assuredly would not leave their house. Ever.

The other humorous event happened later in the afternoon, when yet another transient staggered up the illustrious stairs of my place of employment. Before I go on, I need to describe some of the structure of our building, so that you may create a mental picture. There are two sets of doors to the entrance of our building, creating a little vestibule between the outside doors and the inner doors. I can lock the inner doors with a key, so that if someone nefarious approaches our building, s/he is stopped in the vestibule and never enters the actual building. That being said, there is a corner of the vestibule that I can't see from my desk, a little blind spot, if you will. And sometimes transients or peeps waiting for the Wendover bus will try to sneak in and hide in the blind spot. So drunken transient does the same. I admit, I was distracted by the spreadsheet I was working on, and thought he perhaps changed his mind and exited the building. Not so. He was standing in the blind spot.

Normally, I would call the cops immediately, but we had two very important client meetings going on that I was afraid would get out at any time. Thus it would be bad if there were copious amounts of police officers and one inebriated transient waiting for them as they exited. A couple of co-workers came down for some backup (and don't you worry I had my mace handy... still want a taser though) and we locked the inner doors. Previous to this action, the man had gotten up, made a staggering attempt toward the inner door, and then abruptly shimmied to the side and fell down on his bottom. This is when we decided to call the police. They shouldn't even have to ask for my name anymore, I call so much. Oh well.

The cops show up, have to drag the guy out and whatnot, and then they come in to talk to us. They say we should probably spray the vestibule with Lysol or something because the dude was getting hopped up on LISTERINE. Seriously? The man was drinking straight Listerine. And man, was the smell pungent. Really stung the nostrils.

I hope my description of these events is not callous, and the reason I shared it in the first place is because it was the first time I have not been totally scared by an unwanted patron of the business. And honestly, who gets drunk off of Listerine when the liquor store is across the street?

P.S. I'm going to the Nutcracker ballet with the fam tonight. I've been every year since I was three, so that means tonight marks my 21st time. Yaya.


Kenna said...

I really wish I could witness said experiences. We have only had crazy lady come in twice. In two years of me working here.

I begged Josh to take me to the Nutcracker.


Taylor said...

I forgot how funny you are! Tell Gregory hi for me! We were supposed to go to dinner sometime with you guys, Eric and Beth.