Friday, December 12, 2008

A big rock and my first kiss

Since I seem to be a glutton for punishment in the embarrassing stories/moments department, I'm going to hit you guys with another lovely gem from my HUGE embarrassing stories vault as a weekend treat. A special thanks to Chel, who reminded me of this horror and requested that it make an appearance on this hallowed blog.

First the background to the story...

It was the summer after my Sophomore year in high school, and my dear friend Kate was hanging out with a boy who was on the baseball team. He, in turn, had an attractive friend who was also on the baseball team (and the next year would turn out to be a captain of the football team, might I add, since that stuff is important in high school) who I started hanging out with because I was hanging out with Kate a lot. (I mean, we all remember high school... no one really dated much... you know what I mean.) I thought he seemed nice and cute, and being a baseball player was a plus (because we know I'm obsessed), but there was one small problem:

I'd never kissed a boy.

The shame of it right? I mean my little sister had already kissed boys, and here I was, 1/3 of my way through high school, and I hadn't even come close. So needless to say, I was scared to death to even attempt it, my obsessive compulsive brain convincing me that I'd be terrible at it and that no other boy would ever kiss me again, let alone my little crush.

I didn't even think I'd need to worry about whether or not he was a good kisser.

So one night, Kate, her guy, me and baseball player go up to the mountains (that should have tipped me off right there... eesh) to appreciate the foliage and the mountainous environs (yeah right). As soon as we stop the car and get out, my dear friend and her partner in crime disappear. Lovely.

So baseball player walks me down this little path and suggests we sit on this rock. Which rock ended up being the MOST uncomfortable thing I have ever sat on in my entire life and was not conducive to the TWO HOURS we spent sitting on it. Seriously, TWO HOURS. Oh yeah, and I had to pee. Real bad. Romantic, no?

So basically I'm sitting there with baseball player, and, bless his heart, he more awkward than I was. I mean, I pretty much got the hint that perhaps he was planning on kissing me, but he just kept on talking. Besides, I wasn't totally sure I wanted to kiss him... it's kind of unsanitary if you think about it... and I had only known him a few weeks. Plus, there was that whole fact that I was scared to death of it to consider.

I get to the point where I'm practically writhing in agony because my butt hurts and my bladder's about to explode and I just want to go home. Instead, he asks if I want to play a game.

(I got a big pit in my stomach when he said that... call it intuition.)

I say sure, hoping that we can get the game over with and finally go home so I can finally use the facilities and let this night of awkwardness be over. He says he wants to play the "I'll write something on your back and you have to guess what I wrote and then you write something on my back and I have to guess what you wrote" game.

I think the last time I played that I was about seven.

To appease him, I oblige (not like I had a choice because I'd already said "sure" to a game) and he writes down Kate's name.

"Kate," I reply.

So then I write his friend's name on his back and he guesses correctly.

He then tells me the next one's going to be a phrase. He begins to write... I repeat each word aloud...





(Um, would "hell no" be an appropriate response at this point? Oh wait, I never swore then. Not even the p-i-double s word.)

As I was fumbling for the words to answer my brain was simultaneously thinking the aforementioned thought, along with stuff like: "well you haven't kissed anyone..."/"he is cute..."/"he DID not just ASK me in THAT way to kiss him..."/"ew, saliva" etc.

I finally said, what would become one of my favorite words to use with him, "Sure."

And it was nothing short of awful, bless his heart.

Which is probably why I didn't start liking kissing until I was 19...

It's anybody's guess.


Shannon said...

oh the awful joys of obligation! I am loving it...thanks for sharing your embarrassing moments so I can chuckle and know that I'm not the only one with awkward memories that make me cringe and laugh all at the same time :) Have a great weekend.

Kelly and Stacey said...

I'm sure there have been a lot of awful kisses, all in the name of not "hurting someone's feelings." I always tell Kelly I'm so glad to be married, and never worry about awkward first kisses again.

Ashley said...

Oh that is terrible. We all have one of those though. Honestly, did anyone have a good first kiss-is there such a thing? You may know a few of my past-ies which induce a similar cringe...

Colby and Steph Stringham said...

Hey guys... Its that time of year again! Wow... this will be the 3rd year we have done this! We just feel that we don't get to see our friends as much as we would like! So why not put together a dinner party! Great food! Great white elephant gifts! And great people! We know everyone is super busy, but we hope you guys can make it! Little children welcome! We love you guys!

**Bring a White Elephant gift per couple

Caitlin said...

oh, lauren, how hilariously awkward! Love it, haha!