Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Yet another reason why I'm glad I have the Gregory

I think the 22 and 3/4 years leading up to G and me were filled with more dysfunctional dates and relationships than many people encounter in their entire lives. Maybe I'm exaggerating just a tad, but mostly I am being gravely serious. In retrospect such dating debacles now seem quite entertaining, because now I am happily retired from the disaster that is the dating world.

Which is why I can share this snippet of a story and no longer cringe.

A few years back I was dating a guy who was nice but was a really slobbery kisser. This bothered me for multiple reasons, and I finally (delicately) brought it up to him. His reply: "So you seriously don't like the sauce?"

[Um, ew. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit when you said that. And while we're mentioning it, no I don't, which is why I brought it up in the first place. But thanks for making a potentially awkward conversation even more awkward and slightly creepy. Why exactly are we still dating?] = what I was thinking/should have said if I was totally mean

Needless to say, we didn't last very long. (Thank heaven.)


cody & allison said...

Lauren, I am so glad you found "the Gregory" You are the best and deserve nothing but the best. I am also glad you are able to laugh about "those times" securely.

Kimba said...

The sauce?! Oh, I just threw up too...sick.

I dated someone who was also a um, wet kisser. Ugh. One of the many instances where the grass is definitely NOT greener...

Cliff, Kendal and Stone said...

oh my gosh. i just read this out loud to cliff and we are cracking up. as i write this. hahaha. the sauce?! gotta give him credit for being witty in an awkward moment.