Friday, January 25, 2008

The irksome and the annoying

Though I hate to say so, I have been hit with a bit of the writer's block. Which really hasn't happened to me since the college days... you know, whenever I'd try to actually write an essay before the night before it was due. So I asked myself, "Self, what would be something you could write about amid a horrendous bout of writer's block?" And then it came to me: I can write about things that exasperate me. Though I wouldn't expect completely sufficient explanations of said exasperations, due to the writer's block. So deal with it and move on.

Pet Peeve #1: No Phone Decorum
Now as many of you know, my glorious career of being an admin/resident peon involves associating with various less-than-desirable people. Most of this interaction comes via the glorious cords of the telephone, where I am constantly yelled at because the client keeps getting a worker's voicemail (shocking that they wouldn't just jump at the chance to talk to such a pleasant person), or yelling at me because I should know the exact whereabouts of EVERY employee we have (past and present) or just yelling at me because they are pompous misogynist jerk faces who get their jollies from making me feel bad. At any rate, all I ask for is a little decorum. Don't call me a bitch over the phone and then hang up. I'm not a bitch, and I wasn't being one when I was trying to help you out. So adjust the 'tude, mmk?

Pet Peeve #2: When people wear things they shouldn't because they want to be "trendy"
Okay, I'm not saying that I am THE AUTHORITY on fashion, but I do know a few things and am my own worst critic. So what I say here should apply to me as much as anyone else. The trend I will use as an example will be the skinny jean. First off, skinny jeans are NOT for everyone. Now, let me qualify this statement by saying that I don't necessarily think you have to have Kate Moss' legs/thighs to wear them... but it doesn't hurt. In all seriousness, the thing that is integral to pulling off the skinny jean is the proportion of your legs. If you are 5'2" and all torso, you prob shouldn't wear them. If you are skinny, but you have cankles, you shouldn't wear them. And if you're short, AND you have cankles, you most definitely should NEVER don a pair of skinnys, no matter if you're 90lbs or 300lbs. Sorry, that's just the way it is. I didn't make the rules. Let's just say I'm around a specific group of people every day who think that the more they look like the urban outfitters/anthropologie catalogue, the better their fashion sense. Basically, fashion is a personal thing. Wear what you want (save the aforementioned) as long as it's YOU. Eff everybody else. But if you wear it, you've got to own it. Capisce?

Pet Peeve #3: Stupid-A** drivers
So I'm driving home last night, and this car is kinda swerving between lanes and has the wrong turning signal on, and as I pass it, I see that it's an old man on a cell phone. Seriously. Strike one: old man driving. Strike two: talking on a cell phone. Strike three: when said man runs over a homeless person while swerving into Pioneer Park. Which I'm convinced could really happen. Besides the elderly, pretty much any teenage girl, lady in a minivan or man in a overly jacked-up POS are all guilty of being stupid-a** drivers. I see it on a daily basis. And it gets increasingly annoying by the day. Especially in the snow.

Pet Peeve #4: The Clintons
Can I tell you how much I loathe the Clintons? I should just leave it at that because discussing them makes me want to puke, but I'll give a bit of an explanation for those of you that care. First of all, can Hillary stop getting her husband to fling mud at Obama long enough to actually elucidate on any of her proposed policies? Can she stop picking fights with Obama long enough to actually present a new idea or some solutions to America's problems? Can shady things like disappearing dissenters and planted questions and hostage-takers stop long enough so Hillary can actually do this country some good? Or propose to do something good? I don't buy that Bill and Hill have a good marriage (or a marriage at all for that matter), and I don't buy that she has America's interests at heart. She's shady, he's shady, and I just don't like them. (And no, I am not necessarily promoting Obama by putting down Clinton. Just FYI.)

Pet Peeve #5: Whiners
I'll close with this one because if I don't, I may just go on forever. My fifth and last pet peeve deals with people who constantly whine. (You may be thinking, "But Lauren, aren't you whining right now about all the things that bug you?" Well, when you put it that way, yes. But I mean those who have to complain about every minute detail of their lives and have to make DRAMA out of insignificant things on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis.) I'm not gonna sugar coat it... I work with a lot of whiners. They whine because they broke the copy machine but it's my fault, or whine that it's too cold in the building or whine that they have too much work to do even though they are late every day and take two hour lunches. I think I'm just sick of all the whining. And so I then whine about it. Which only deepens my abhorrence for whiners. It's thoroughly addictiing if you're not careful.

There you have it. Just a few of the things that bug me the most. I hope the writer's block leaves me soon. Until then...


Josh & Kenna said...

So I fit into every one of your categories. Didn't I tell you Bill was my uncle?

Ashley said...

Yeah the immaturity level of the Clintons reached preposterous heights in the last few weeks. I am considering submitting a Constitutional amendment (never mind that I am not a senator)to change the age required to run for president from 35 to absolutely no Clintons allowed. Period.